somethings i know i know
somethings i know i don't know
somethings i don't know i don't know
it is what
i don't know that i don't know
that i can never understand
in the undoing of all that i know
does the truth of my being
just gracefully emerge
to delight me
to excite me
and joyfully bring me
to My Fullest Self
Tough for a Reason
About the same time I started reading A Course in Miracles I developed a
close friendship with very bright and loving woman who had spent many years
studying the Bible. She was interested in what was said in ACIM and even
more interested in how it differed from traditional Christian teachings.
Often times we would take turns reading text passages from ACIM to each
other. Then we would discuss their meaning.
From the very first passages we read together she would complain about how
difficult the book was to understand and ask me if there was an "ACIM for
Dummies" available. Why would anyone write a book that is so difficult to
understand? So many metaphors, so many synonyms, so many special
definitions, so many personal pronouns, so many WORDS, so many pages, and
all that damned poetry! She was rather temperamental and at times she would
rant about how Jesus must not have cared a wit about the reader; if He had
the book would be a hell of a lot easier to understand.
Before we stopped reading together (it was too perplexing and annoying to
her) she repeatedly asked me to write an "ACIM for Dummies" saying that it
was sure to be best seller. "Jesus certainly could have made it a lot
I agreed with her. "Jesus certainly could have made it a lot easier to
understand." But to me it was no mistake that the book was difficult. She
said that this was because the author of ACIM was an educational "elitist".
By this time she doubted that the author was Jesus. Whoever the author was
he or she must not have wanted anyone outside of Mensa to read it. Of course
this conclusion made the author worlds apart from the kind and gentle Jesus
who taught us to "do unto others."
Still, if Jesus could have made it easy to understand, why didn't He? What
could possibly be the value of making it so tough to read? Jesus could have
chosen a different scribe; one with a simpler style and a more pedestrian
vocabulary. For God's sake, Helen was a PhD who taught psychoanalytic
psychology to doctors at Columbia medical school; talk about literate!
But I had then and have now the nagging suspicion that ACIM is tough for a
reason. It's no mistake that I often read a paragraph and by the time I read
the last word I don't recall what the paragraph was about. No, it's no
mistake or oversight that ACIM is tough to read. And it's not in Jesus'
nature to make it tough to exclude anyone, or as a cruel hoax. No, ACIM is
tough for a reason.a loving reason that gently bends to the contours of
God's plan for salvation.
Today as I was speaking with an ACIM friend he asked me, "Ken, you don't
really expect me to understand the book do you?" I opened my mouth and the
following words blurted out. "George, the only time the book has no value is
when you understand it. Why would I want you to understand it?" My mouth
was doing the talking but the words never even formed in my head. "George,
the only time the book has no value is when you understand it. Why would I
want you to understand it?" I rushed to write down these confusing words.
Silence on the other end of the line. George and I both understood that his
understanding of its message was contrary CONTRARY to the purpose for the
book! I guess that understanding is not necessary for "removing the blocks
to the awareness of love's presence, which is your natural inheritance. " In
fact it seems that ACIM was written to thwart its own understanding.
This is the first and only book I have read where understanding was contrary
to its purpose. I could give you my take on the meaning of what I said, but
this might keep you from speaking with your personal Guide to salvation.
A Course in Miracles is tough for a Reason. A damn good Reason!
By the way, I must say "thank you" to my lady friend for her complaints and
to George for his perplexity. "Only appreciation is an appropriate response
to your brother. Gratitude is due him for both his loving thoughts and his
appeals for help, for both are capable of bringing love into your awareness
if you perceive them truly." (T-12.I.6)
They both brought Love into my awareness.